Compelling Reasons for Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle
There are many compelling reasons why allowing your child to pick and choose their own haircut and hairstyle is a huge subject for me. I’ll share my own personal experiences on this. It’s important because this simple decision can have a lasting impact on the rest of your child’s life.
When I was a child, my mother did my hair for me. Or should I say – didn’t do my hair at all. It was golden blonde, and extremely curly. Until about eight years of age, everywhere we went, I would constantly hear compliments from admirers. They would say things to my parents like “Oh my God – she is so beautiful! How old is she?” There was only one problem – I’m a boy for God’s sake!
This was a source of great stress for me early in life. I suppose it was fine and “cute” up until I was six or seven. In fact, I even did some modeling and appeared in commercials until about eight years of age. However, after that, things went downhill fast. When a boy is supposed to start looking and acting like a boy, it started slowly affecting my confidence and became a source of sadness.
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle – My Personal Story
I got bullied at school because of my feminine appearance. One year in particular was terrible. The place I grew up threw a huge 75th Township Anniversary campaign. Children were selected to put on a play to highlight the town’s history. It showcased the many celebrities who shaped the times. Basically from the turn of the century all the way up to the early 1980’s. Wouldn’t you know it, I was chosen to play the lead – none other than Shirley Temple herself!
Some moms may be reading this with a smile on their face thinking this is a happy story. I can assure you it isn’t. This was a period in my life of incredible anguish. After all, I was a little boy trying to grow up and find my own identity. Unfortunately, this was an incredible challenge. My dominating physical characteristic – my hairstyle – projected the exact opposite of who I was inside.
Things got really bad. I recall walking to school one day as a second grader with my turtle neck sweater stretched above my head. I prayed it would make me invisible and the bullies at school wouldn’t recognize me. As an eight-year old, I was scrawny enough as it was. I stood absolutely no chance against the mean sixth and seventh graders twice my size. It was really awful and something had to give.
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle – A Sad Little Boy Fights Back
The abuse was bad. Essentially, every day – nonstop. The emotional and physical distress I endured back then had a long-lasting impact on me. Remember – this was 35 years ago and a very different time. It was void of the political correctness and anti-bullying consciousness more instilled in today’s youth than it was back then.
One day, I got so sick of the bullying, I had to take a stand and put my foot down. I refused the part in the play, which caused a lot of drama at school with my teachers and my mom. But I didn’t care. Looking cute to appease my mom just wasn’t worth the abuse I endured every day. It just seemed as though no one understood what I was going through, and I felt helpless and alone. Like the people who should’ve been protecting me from the abusers were actually making things worse by encouraging this gender reversal, leading only to more teasing and beatings at school.
The very next day, I defiantly set out for the town barber, a mile and a half away, in a desperate attempt to try to gain my independence and finally make myself look more like a boy in hopes that the teasing would stop! I’m sure my mother meant well, and in almost all other instances – she did know best. But what she could’t understand was that my appearance was having a serious negative impact on me.
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle – Then and Now
Ironically enough, I am the owner of a children’s salon today. Aside from making children smile, one of the primary goals in my life is empowering kids to look and feel their best. Regarding moms and dads out there, this may occasionally mean agreeing to let your child choose their own hairstyle, even if you feel that it may not be their very best look. But fear not! Even if you disagree with their decision, you will have plenty of time later in life to show their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse old photos to embarrass gently remind them of how “cool” their self-decided hair looked back in the day! 🙂
Still not sold on this idea? I get it. Fortunately, I have a few more compelling reasons why parents should let their kids select their own haircut once they reach a proper “grade school” age.
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle will Help Teach Kids to Have Their Own Self Identity
Permitting your little one to choose their own haircut may seem like a small deal. But giving children the independence (in most cases) to pick what they want to wear or how their hair looks helps to establish and reinforce that they have ownership over their bodies and appearance.
Being comfortable in one’s skin is something people struggle with their entire lives. Further, the more confidence children can build up during their early years will establish a baseline for more and more positive reinforcement as they grow older. Here are a few more compelling reasons…
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle will Encourage Self-Expression
Allowing your child to develop their own unique sense of style is probably more important to them than you may think. While it’s cute and adorable to dress your children up in identical outfits when they’re younger, trying to do that after they can think for themselves can do more harm than good. Worst case, children will start to rebel against you. It may start with something simple like the way they look or the clothes they wear, but unfortunately it can lead to a lot worse.
The cliché of the rebellious teenager dying their hair purple or getting tattoos and facial piercings simply to get back at their parents is born of their intense craving for nothing more than freedom and self-expression. Do your child a favor and embrace their own individual style at a young age. Then just sit back and watch the confidence, leadership and success they acquire later in life. Need a few more compelling reasons? No problem – read on!
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle will Enforce that Their Wishes and Decisions Should Be Respected
Unfortunately, the most common word kids hear when growing up is “no.” “No, you can’t do this.” “No, you can’t do that.” Although often times children hear this word out of a desire to protect, it can also be harmful.
After all, if you as their parent are disregarding their decisions, how can you possibly expect them to have the confidence and fortitude necessary to be respected by others?
Most children have their desires questioned all the time. They get used to hearing that they are wrong. Or they hear “You don’t know what’s really good for you.” This can only lead to indecision and lack of confidence later. Doing something simple like letting your child pick out a trivial haircut can go a very long way! For starters, it is a great way to enforce the idea that what he or she wants is important. More than being important – that their decisions should be respected. Allowing children the opportunity to say “I want my haircut like this,” and actually respecting their wishes fosters in them the fact that it is actually alright to want something.
Without passion and desire, how can you expect them to have the drive to study and work hard? After all, isn’t the goal of being a parent to support your child to become successful later in life? Even more compelling reasons are found below.
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle will Form a Strong Sense of Trust between You and Your Child
When you allow your children to make a decision about their appearance, it helps to create a strong sense of trust. You send the right message. That you trust them and their own unique decision making process. Confirming the fact that no one in the world knows themselves better than they do. It helps reinforce the idea that they are the subject matter expert when it comes to their own bodies. Showing that you trust your child makes it a lot easier for them to trust you! Finally, the following is one of the most compelling reasons of all…
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle will Teach Them that Love and Support Know No Equal
I cannot emphasize this point enough. Showing a child that you trust them is nothing unless they know that you also love and support them. As humans, we all make mistakes. Having a child know that you love them despite these mistakes no mater what, is what counts. It will give them the courage they need later to get up and try again. After all, the most successful people in life are NOT those who succeed the most. They are the ones who are willing to dust themselves off and keep trying, despite their failures!
Allowing Your Child to Pick and Choose Their Own Haircut and Hairstyle – Parting Thoughts
I’m long removed from my early childhood days. However, I sometimes reflect back on that difficult time with pride for standing up for myself. I made the conscious choice to cut my hair shorter because it was what I wanted. It was important to me. In fact, I have no regrets for this decision. To this day, I have a very unique fashion-style and even straighten my hair! As an adult, I’ve always tried to live my life by being kind to others. I also remind myself of the mantra “Winners are simply willing to do what losers won’t.”
Sure – it’s just letting them pick out a small haircut or outfit now. But just think about the profound, compounding impacts it can have later on! Allowing them to make that decision for themselves now can help them grow and flourish for the rest of their life.
Other Great Blog Articles from Just 4 Kids Salon – Compelling Reasons
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